Sunday, August 31, 2014

That's How Much I Need



 Wellington walks into his new office places the box down on the desktop and looks around feeling exhilarated. They'd finally done it! All the time, sweat and long nights had finally payed off. He walks around his desk sits down in his chair and flips his computer on then walks back to the box unloading it while the hard drive starts up. He pulls out the knickknacks and awards putting them into the places he'd chosen for them. Then stands back and admires his handy work. He reaches for the empty box and tosses it into the hall whistling to his self as he walks to the closet and pulls out the blotter he'd bought. Tossing it on the desk chuckling as it spins perfectly into place. He reaches for the other box he'd stashed there and lifts it on to the desk pulling items from it deciding which memento's to keep and where to place them tossing the others into the trash. He moves briskly about the office till he comes to the bottom and the picture of Lesley stopping him dead in his tracks. He stares down at it the whistle gone from his lips as the lightness of his mood slips away. He moves to his chair and slumps into it he'd meant to get rid of it before he'd moved what was the point in keeping it? He was sure his assistant had packed it she was a big fan of theirs and truly believed in happy endings even if that wasn't a reality. He should get rid of it and be done with it all but after seeing her he couldn't bring himself to do it. He props it up on his desk sits back and stares at her.
As hard as he'd tried to keep Lesley out of his thoughts she was there. The pain in her eyes and hurt in her voice echoed in his head every time he closed his eyes. He'd picked up the phone at least a half a dozen times and dialed her number. Then hung up like a coward before the first ring even started. He had no idea what to say he'd gone over and over the other night in his mind and he still had nothing. Nothing more than he'd already said to her that he loved her always had and always would. Time and distance would never change that fact but she wanted, no she needed more and he sure as hell didn't know what it was. If the hundreds of messages he'd left her hadn't said it he didn't know what else could.
 The one time she did pick up she hadn't given him an opportunity to explain! She'd shut him down at every turn! He'd called her from the airport the next morning. As soon as he'd gotten off the plane he'd driven to their apartment but when he got there she was gone. Without a word, a note or a forwarding address just gone. Something he was more than sure Jay had had a hand in. Still he couldn't blame Jay for his own stupidity. He shouldn't have wasted two months of his life trying to help a woman that wouldn't help herself. That had only destroyed her as well as his relationship with a woman he'd spent a life time loving. He leans forward in his chair resting his chin on his stacked wrists his thoughts going back again to the events that had caused the chasm between them. Back to that last night he'd spent with Lola after his daughters death. He'd been furious after waiting two hours at the cemetery the day her headstone had been placed when Lola hadn't shown up as promised. He'd come back to the house and found her yet again and for the last time a drunken mess.
"You can't keep doing this Lola!" Wellington shouts shaking the empty Vodka bottle in front of her his face red with fury. Lola glances up at him her eyes glazed her words slightly slurred.
"Please stop shouting." She stares down at the floor her fingers pressing in on her temples. Wellington stares down at her barely in control of his anger. 
"What do you want me to do Lola? I've tried talking to you! I've been nothing but supportive and understanding where's that gotten us?" He shouts his nostrils flared his his anger at tipping point. Lola turns her tear stained face up at him her voice a whimper.
"It’s just so hard!" She says before bursting into tears. Wellington tosses the bottle across the room shouting in frustration as glass rains across the floor.
"Don’t you think this has been hard for me? God!" He shouts in frustration 
"You're not the only one who lost a child Lola! She was my daughter too!" Pounding his hand against his chest fighting the tears stinging the back of his eyes.   
"I was her Mother!" She screams back tears flooding down her cheeks. 
"And I was her father!" He shouts back her complete and deliberate ignorance of his pain filled his voice with venom.
"You don’t understand!" She shakes her head wiping the tears from her cheeks with her palms.
"Then explain it to me! Make me understand!" He pleads his expression pained and confused. Lola stands and walks towards the mantel picking up the photo of the three of them the last picture they'd taken before the divorce running her finger lovingly over her daughter's face as fresh tears fall onto the glass. 
"There’s just this emptiness inside of me." She whispers placing the photo back in its place. Wellington shakes his head annoyed by her selfishness his face construed in disgust.
"So you think alcohol can fill it?" 
"It’s just.." She whimpers. 
"Just I… I miss her so much!" She says flopping down on the sofa and begins to cry again. 
"And you don’t think I don’t?" His voice softening. He sits beside her wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 
"I loved her too!" He says calmly holding her other hand in his. 
"Oh God! Stop trying to placate me!"  She shrieks shrugging off his touch as if it burned her.
"You will never understand! I have to get out of here!" She rises abruptly and runs towards the hall reaching for her coat and purse lying on the chair.
"Where are you going?" He bellows trailing behind her.
"Out!" She shouts back shrugging into her coat.
"If you ever loved our daughter you won't walk out that door!" His voice filled with anger. 
"I have to go!" She says pulling it open as Wellington grabs her arm.
"You mean you have to go find a drink!" She stares at him a moment then pulls her arm from his grasp and storms toward the door Wellington shouting behind her.
"I'm not doing this anymore! I can’t! If you walk out that door tonight I won't be here when you get back!" He reaches for the phone on the hall table and dials the police station. He couldn't let her drive around drunk and possibly kill someone. She glares at him a moment then pulls the door open slamming it behind her and that was the last he'd seen of her. He'd packed his bag and had left a few minutes after her ignoring the phone ringing when he'd locked the front door for the last time. Even with what happened between them he couldn't blame Lola either everything that happened was because of the choices he'd made. He'd chosen to stay with Lola not because he loved her. Any love he had felt for Lola had died years before if there had been any to start with. Nor was it pity. His choice to stay with her after their child had died was to honor a promise he'd made to his daughter. Despite the fact that Lola hadn't wanted it, he'd stayed. He'd heard it in her voice and had been even more apparent as soon as he'd seen her. She had been on a the path of self destruction long before their daughter died. After, she'd kept sliding till she'd hit rock bottom and there was nothing he could have done to stop her.
 Through it all he'd shut Lesley out he knew that but her telling him last night had just bought it all home. What truly scared him was that maybe there was nothing he could do to have Lesley back in his life. He couldn't let that happen some how he was going to find a way back into her heart. He stares at her picture another moment then sighs picking it up and places it in his desk drawer. He'd gone around and around with it for days and still wound up in the same place. Right now he needed to concentrate on business. Perhaps the distraction would help him come to a solution or at the very least he'd get some work done. He reaches for the computer mouse clicking on on his email immediately opening the one from Joseph Jordan at the state office reading it quickly his anger mounting by the word.
"Shit!" He groans aloud then reaches for his cell phone and dials.
"Dax" comes the voice from the other end.
"Hello, this is Wellington Swift a mutual friend of ours told me if I ran into a problem to give you a call." He hoarse whispers looks down the hall seeing no one he closes the door.
"Mr. Swift how are you?" Comes the voice from the other end. Wellington hesitates a moment reading the email again then continues.
"I ahh just received what I believe to be an injunction from the state from a one Joseph Jordan." He says scanning it again quickly.
"Hmmm" comes the voice from the other end as keys click in the background.
"I see." He says sounding a little distracted as Wellington scans through the rest of the pages listening as Dax clicks away making "ahha" and  "mhmm" noises as he works. The sound stops and Dax's smooth voice comes through the phone.
"I'm going to send you an invitation I want you to click yes and let go of the mouse." Wellington waits a moment clicks on the the box then lifts his hand from the keyboard. Watching in fascination as the mouse zooms around the screen opening and closing windows and programs.
"She's all yours, and I'll get back to you in twenty-four hours. Until then just hang tight unless there's something else?" Wellington yanks at his tie loosens his collar button then clears his throat.
"What do you have in mind?" His voice edged with concern making Dax chuckle.
"Don't worry there nothing illegal in what I do Mr. Swift that's not how we operate. That's not to say that your friend Mr. Stockton doesn't, and from my brief Internet search he and Mr. Jordan seem quite chummy. Is this a copy of the original email?"
"I don't know that's the only thing I received."
"Interesting." Wellington hears more typing from the other end making him more curious by the moment.
"What's interesting about it?" Dax types for a couple more seconds talking as he works.
"It doesn't look like this was sent it looks more like a draft of what's going to be sent."
"How do you know. I mean how can you tell?"
"Mr. Swift you'll be pleasantly surprised when you see exactly how amazing your new associates are. Huh!" He says aloud sounding surprised by something. Wellington listens intently unable to gage what he was hearing from the other end. He waits again for the typing to stop so he could ask a question but is cut off by Dax's clear firm voice before he can utter it.  
"Just give me till morning and I'll get you something you can work with." Wellington breathes a small sigh of relief.
"Thank you Mr. Dax." Dax chuckles on the other end.
"Just Dax Mr. Swift happy to help. I'll be talking to you. Have a good morning."
" You too and thanks again, bye" He says clicking the phone off feeling better than he had a few moments ago. He hated the thought of intruding on Chase and Erin with business if he didn't have to. He reaches in the drawer and picks up the photo of Lesley. Wellington looks at her image a moment and smiles remembering what it was like between them before the world came crashing down on them. He reaches for his phone and dials her number saying a little prayer as the phone rings hoping beyond hope that this time she'd pick up.


"Harbinger Falls" copyright 2014

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