Hoping Beyond Hope

 Chase walks back from the cafeteria into the waiting room carrying two cups of coffee hands Lesley one then takes the seat beside her.
"Thanks" She mutters taking the cup from him and sipping it. Chase looks at her worried expression as Lesley head swivels towards the entrance to the ER when the doors open for the hundredth time without Erin between them. She places the cup down on the table stands pacing worriedly around it.
"I wish Erin would tell us something!' She says wiping the tears from her cheek. Chase stand wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"Come on Les he's going to be okay" Lesley takes a deep breath stifling back her tears.
"He's just so little you know?" She snuffs as Chase leads her back towards the couch.
"She'll be out soon hon it's only been about fifteen minutes." Lesley turns her wain face towards him smiling weakly.
"Thanks Chase and thanks for everything" Chase smiles back at her then reaches for their cups handing her one.
"For what I didn't do anything really" Lesley holds the cup in her hand staring down into it's contents blindly.
 "Yeah you did. You should be furious with me. If it were me I'd be ripping me up one side and down the other." Chase mouth twists in a half smile.
"So Wellington is his father?" Asking the question that had been burning his lips since they'd walked in.
"Boy, you don't waste any punches do you?" Lesley turns to towards him with a smirk then sips her coffee. Chase looks back at her trying to sort through his confusion, keeping his temper in check and showing compassion. He also had to wonder exactly how Erin fit into all of this. It was obvious she knew from the start but since they had driven in silence all the way to the hospital he really didn't understand how she could keep this all to herself but it wasn't the time to argue with her she didn't need that distraction right now but maybe Lesley did. Besides Lesley knew him well enough to know that now that he knew the truth he wasn't joining the reindeer games.
"Never did." He smiles nudging her side playfully making her smile in earnest.
"I guess Erin told you huh?" She sighs sipping her coffee and looking toward the ER doors.
"Can I ask you a question?" Lesley puts down her cup and braces herself for the inevitable question she had been dreading since Erin took Jamie in the back.
"Why didn't you just tell him?"  He looks over at her his eyes searching hers.
"I was angry, I was hurt.You remember what happened when Juliet was sick and everything that happened after she...." She stops unable to say the words.
"I was grieving too! He left me to grieve alone! He had to take care of "Lola"! She mocks
"I loved that little girl too! And I was scared!" She stops looking up at the ER doors as they open and close without Erin coming through again and sighs heavily.
"I don't know Chase I had all these reasons that just seem so ridiculous now. " Her voice trails off her throat tight as she fights back the tears praying to God that the same fate didn't await her son. She sighs slumping back against the cushions sounding defeated.
"I thought I was protecting my son." Chase shakes his head his gaze burrowing into hers.
"But he's not just your son." He says trying hard to keep the disgust from his voice his mind still unable to to digest it all. He sighs loudly as he stands and paces around the row of chairs in front of him stopping when he comes full turn.
"What are you going to do now? Are you going to tell him?" Lesley looks at him and then back to her cup tipping it to her lips and taking a sip stalling for time. Chase waits not sure what his response would be if she didn't tell him. Wellington wasn't just his cousin he was his best friend and he wasn't going to become a part of this secret society. This needed to end now especially now. Lesley looks up at him knowing by the expression on his face he wasn't going to accept any other answer than telling Wellington the truth. In her heart she knew this was the end of the line for the lie she knew it this afternoon even before Jaime got sick even though she tried to convince herself otherwise.
"As soon as..." Her voice trails off a moment as her phone rings she quickly reaches for her purse clicking the receiver before the first ring stops.
"Hello?" Wellington's heart stops for a moment not expecting her to answer his throat suddenly goes dry momentarily constricting his voice then suddenly booms through the receiver.
"Lesley please don't hang up! Please! I just want to to talk to you for one..." Lesley interrupts him before he can continue.
"It's okay Wellington." She says looking up at Chase who stares back at her eyes wide. Then says a silent prayer thanking God for his cousins timing. He walks back to the table picking up his cup then walks a few steps further away. Lesley watches him a moment only half listening to Wellington's prattle then breaks in.
"Listen Wellington there is something really important I need to talk to you about and I don't want to do it over the phone. Do you think you could meet me here?" Wellington swallows hard not believing his ears. She actually wanted to meet! He didn't care about what as long as he got his shot face to face.
"Sure just tell me where and when?" Lesley looks up at the nurse station as the door opens and she hears the sound of her son crying echo through then chokes back her tears.
"Ahh could you meet me now...?" Her voice fading off as another cry slips through the crack in the door. Chase walks back towards her the expression on her face showing she was ready to crack. He sit next to her wrapping his arm around her shoulder and holding her close.
"I'm at the hospital" she croaks out. Welling stops in his steps her words filtering down through his excitement.
"At the hospital? Are you okay?" Lesley looks at Chase who smiles back at her reassuringly.
"I'm fine just get here as soon as you can okay...It's important?" Wellington grabs his jacket off the chair as he talks slamming his office door behind him.
"I'll be right there!"
"Thanks bye." She says clicking the phone off not waiting for a response and slides it back in her purse.
"Well there's your answer." She smiles weakly glancing at the ER doors opening and closing then back to Chase.
"Now you have to do me a favor?" She says taking his hand in hers.
"You can't be angry or blame Erin for any of this. Believe me she wanted to tell you she wanted to tell everyone I forced her to keep Jamie a secret. So please don't be mad at her?" She pleads watching the anger float across his face and his jaw tighten. He pulls his hand from hers walks towards the window and looks out.
"I can promises I'll listen to whatever she has to say that's the best I can do right now." He says turning back towards her his eyes dark with anger his eyebrows creased into a "v".
"That's good enough for now. Could you do one more thing for me? Could you stick around till Wellington gets here? Once he hears what I have to tell him he's going to need you." She says stuffing up again as her sons wails can be heard through the opening door.
"Yeah sure not a problem" Chase looks over Lesley's shoulder and spots Erin coming through the ER doors.
"Hey Les," She says reaching out and hugging her which starts Lesley's tears anew.
"How is he?... What's wrong with him?" She stammers her eyes pleading.
"He's doing okay, Why don't we sit down." Erin says motioning towards the couch. Lesley stands motionless starring at her in disbelief.
"I don't want to sit down I want to know what's wrong with my son!" She shrieks burgeoning on hysteria.
"He's stable honey were giving him fluids and a general antibiotic we'll know more once we run some more test." She says calmly.
"Tests? What kind of test what do you think is wrong with him?" Lesley looks from Erin to Chase fear etching her face.  Erin looks to Chase for strength the later averting his gaze. Finding none she takes a deep breath and continues.
"We think he has Bacterial Meningitis." Lesley's falls against Chase her strength seemingly to drain from her limbs.
"Oh no! Oh my God no!" She wails letting loose the torrent of tears that she'd been holding back for so long making Chase's heart ache for her. As angry as he was with her a few moments ago he could find none of it now. Whatever was going on between all of them Lesley didn't deserve this kind of torment, no mother did. Erin fights her instinct to drop her professional facade and go to her cousin. She reminded herself again that the best way to help Jamie was to cure him. She couldn't fall apart now when he needed her to be strong. She musters all the professional strength she has and continues.
"We have Jamie on a broad spectrum antibiotic for now we'll know more once we get his test's back"
"Lesley?" Wellington calls as he comes in to the room. Lesley head snaps towards the sound of Wellington's voice as he comes in to the room looking from one dire expression to the next.
"What's going on? Lesley looks at Erin's confused and startled expression and nods her head.
"Wellington I'm really glad you're here?" Wellington looks at Lesley confused then to Chase who head snaps to some imaginary goings on out the window.
"Give me a second and I'll explain everything okay?" She rests her hand on Wellington's sleeve holding back her tears as she turns to Erin.
"Can we see him?" She asks looking to Erin hopefully. Erin smiles nodding her head in agreement. Hoping secretly that Wellington's being here signaled that at last she'd be free of the shackles of Lesley's secret.
"Sure I'll take you." Lesley turns back to Chase.
"Can you do me a favor and stick around?" Chase nods in agreement then looks to Erin for the first time since they'd gotten here. She looked tired, awkward and behind it all worried and scarred.
"Yeah definitely I'll be right here." He says pulling his gaze from Erin and back to Lesley and Well still unable to meet his eyes.
"Thanks, Wellington I need you to come with me okay?" She asks her voice scarred and pleading yet demanding. Whatever it was he knew better than to speak and just nodded his head and follow along.
"Come on guys" Erin says from the entrances of the waiting room nodding towards the entrance to the ER. Lesley holds Wellington's arm leading him towards the hall not ready to speak just yet.
Wellington looks from one to the other a million thoughts running through his head not sure what to expect or what the hell was going on. He looks back at Chase whose expression was blank and pained all at the same time. What the hell was going on who was "Him"? He walks through the hub of whispering curtained off vestibules their occupants in different states of distress or relief. He looks at Lesley who averts her eyes as soon as they meet then tugs on his arm forcing him to move faster till they come to the end of the vestibules to a glassed off room with the curtains partially closed.
"Lesley stop!" He says coming to an immediate halt forcing him to catch her before she fell to the floor.
"What the hell is going on, who are you talking about?" Lesley looks at him a moment then turns her gaze to Erin who hastily reaches in the cabinet and pulls two gowns out and hands one to each.
"I need you both to put these on."
"Why?" He looks from one to the other the gown crushed in his fist waiting. Lesley looks up at him her eyes pleading her voice trembling.
"I need you to come in with me and I'll explain everything I promise."
"Look, I'm not going any further till one of you tells me what were doing here?"  Lesley looks up at him a stubborn twist to her mouth.
"Just put it on and I'll tell you!" She says sternly trying desperately to hold on to what was left of her composure as she hastily slips on the gown grimacing at him and nodding her head at him to do the same. Wellington hesitates a moment then un-crumples his fist and slides the gown on. Erin watches the the two of them then quickly opens the door signaling them to follow she points to the crib then walks directly to the monitors trying to ignore what was going on behind her.
"Can I hold him?" Lesley asks the nurse who nods her head then walks over to the small computer and types in her notes. Lesley takes Wellington's hand leading him over to the small crib ignoring Wellington's stunned expression. She looks down at her drowsy son holding back the tears that burned her eyes. She reaches down in the crib and picks up her son cradling him in her arms. She takes a deep breath and turns to a shocked and confused Wellington. He looks from her to the pale sleepy child in her arms and back unable to speak.
"This is James Stockton Swift he's your son."





"Harbinger Falls" Copyright 2014